I was texting back and forth with an old friend after he shared this morning’s amazing Sun front page which was responding to the first budget of the new Andy Burnham government announced yesterday. It was a new classic from the paper that has quite the reputation to sustain.
It reminded me of something Dick Lucas said in passing 32 years (🤯😮) ago on the Cornhill course. He was remarking on how hard it was to write successfully for tabloid papers because they were required to have a limited vocabulary, needed not only to grab attention but also to sustain it, and get the key points across succinctly. The more one has to write, the clearer the challenge to achieve all of that becomes. It also demands a probably unhealthy appreciation for bad puns, but that’s a different matter.
Anyway, Dick suggested preachers should make a serious study of the genre (even if the content is rarely very edifying!). So my friend and I started text-sparring with possible headlines of our own. I thought it might be fun to get something going on here too.
But before I do, I was slightly disappointed to discover that it’s been attempted before by Nick Page with his Tabloid Bible! But the blurb here says it’s for pre-school reception, so perhaps it is different… Though I’ve not read any of it to find out.
So here goes a start (most will be quite niche to UK readers!)…
Genesis: Turn to page 3 for something tempting
Judges: Delilah gives her side: What I learned on Vidal Sassoon course!
1 Samuel: David v Goliath: GOTCHA!
Psalter: Keep Psalm And Carry On
Hosea: Prophet is 3-time Winner of Worst Child Names of the Year
Daniel: Meshach, Shadrach, & Abędnego: Phew! What a Scorcha!
Babylonian Exile: Last One In Jerusalem Turn Out The Lights
Revelation: Cult Leader Tells All About Bad Trips (here we go again, after mentors Ezekiel, Daniel)
Can you think of any others?