I’m back at the ELF (click tag for more info below about previous visits) which is fun – lovely to see old friends and catch up. But have been musing a lot today on some of the things Pablo Martinez was talking about in his plenary session last night. For those who’ve not encountered him, he’s a Spanish Psychiatrist who’s been involved in Christian ministry for years, especially amongst university students. He’s written a number of really helpful books.
He was addressing the issue of why trust has broken down particularly in personal relationships and beyond. What are the roots of the prevalent faithlessness that is seen in the west? For clearly the days when a person’s word was his/her bond have gone.
He had a really helpful diagram which i’ve recreated here – i think it is really insightful and so thought it worth sharing. I hope he doesn’t mind! The core reason why people don’t keep their word or stick with promises they’ve made (e.g. to a spouse) is because overriding commitments take over. It often boils down to rights – these 3 overlap of course but it is helpful to delineate them. He cited a Spanish tv series which is called (I think) Unfaithfulness – and it has a strapline on the lines of ‘in order to be faithful to yourself, you sometimes have to be unfaithful to others’.