One of the acute difficulties of British etiquette is the profound problem of meaning – there can be a huge disparity between the literal/surface meaning of words and the actual intended meaning as all visitors to these shores find to their confusion and even peril. For those wanting a general introduction to the phenomenon, you can do a lot worse than checking this excellent EU translation guide.
But the problem is compounded when you enter the realm of the establishment – of which the Civil Service is in large part the embodiment. So it comes as a relief to have the various traditions, idioms and (let’s face it) prevarications of Whitehall expos translated.
Special Development Areas
Translation: Marginal constituencies.Assistance to areas of economic hardship.
Translation: Pouring money into marginal constituencies.Decentralisation of government
Translation: Moving government offices into marginal consistencies.Sometimes one is forced to consider the possibility that affairs are being conducted in a manner which, all things being considered and making all possible allowances, is, not to put too fine a point on it, perhaps not entirely straightforward.
Translation: You’re lying.This is an urgent problem and we therefore propose setting up a Royal Commission.
Translation: The problem is a bloody nuisance, but we hope that the time a Royal Commission reports four years from now, everyone will have forgotten about it or we can find someone else to blame.A phased reduction of about 100,000 people is not in the public interest.
Translation: It is in the public interest but it is not in the interest of the Civil Service.Ministers have an enviable intellectualsuppleness and moral manoeuvrability.
Translation: You can’t trust them further than you can throw them.
Somewhat unorthodox procedure
Translation: The act of a gibbering lunatic.I think we are going to have to be very careful.
Translation: We are not going to do this.Have you thought through all the implications?
Translation: You are not going to do this.It is a slightly puzzling decision.
Translation: Minister, that is the silliest thing I have ever heard.Public opinion is not yet ready for such a step.
Translation: Public opinion is ready but the Civil Service is not.The police have suffered an acute personnel establishment shortfall.
Translation: Short staffed.We have decided to be more flexible in our application of this principle
Translation: We are dropping this policy but we don’t want to admit it publicly.House training
Translation: Making a new Prime Minister see things our way.
Taken from The Yes Minister Miscellany, pp42-44
