Seeing as we’re having a bit of a poetry fest on Q this week, this is great. A poem made up of quotes from George W Bush between 1999 and 2001, apparently compiled by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson in 2002. A bit out of date now – but the 43rd has just celebrated his 63rd birthday, so that is as good an excuse as any to reproduce it. It is genius.

Make the pie higher!

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

And while we’re at it, let’s include another bard of the Bush administration. Rummo’s epic miniature, The Unknown.

rumsfeldThe Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.

Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. These are HILARIOUS. You definitely win the prize for the most entertaining posts – out of my (paltry) 191 fb friends at least… Thanks!

  2. they were poets and didn’t know its

  3. Didn’t find this genius or hilarious at all. Bush is a smart man–Harvard MBA–he just isn’t quick on his feet when it comes to responses. He’s one of those people who needs to think things through before he talks, and, unfortunately, he was in a job where he was often called upon to react quickly. I detect a note of sneering and belittling behind this list of his mis-speaks. Bush is a committed, kneel-by-the-side-of-his-bed-every night Christian who did what he thought was right, given the information available at the time. So, this stuff is out there, but do we have to honour it by passing it on? WWJD

  4. Hi Judy – absolutely no offence intended.
    Humour is a notoriously hard thing to get right – but in its defence, Bush himself is famously thick-skinned about his linguistic twists and turns, and has usually been the first to make a joke of it.

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